Week 5 has been interesting and a challenge at best. I’m starting to see how the blocks are starting to fit together with regards to the things we are ready and the task/service cards we are committed to completing. I’m finding it comes down to my word, and keeping my word. This weeks exercise from the mastermind was a challenge in that my mind seemed to roam more this week than in most weeks past. Trying to find that happy place from the past wasn’t the issue but I brought everything into focus my mind went wild. Trying to reel it back in and focus it was a bit of a challenge. I’m finding that writing down those items on my chore card need to be more realistic and if it’s something that can’t be completed in that week then I’m finding that I won’t be putting that on my card any further. It’s okay to only impress myself by completing the items I put on the card. Then today, reading scroll II was crazy in that every person I look at I should say (in my mind of course) I love you. Ok, for a guy to look at another guy and say I love you in my mind kind of freaks me out. But I’m beginning to understand there are only 2 possibilities; Love and Fear. I think it’s starting to make sense. So I’m walking through Home Depot today and a guy ( I think he worked there) is walking towards me, we make eye contact for like nano seconds and I smile and mentally say I love you which of course is tripping me out and the dude smiles and I’m thinking oh crap did I say that out loud. I didn’t but still it was weird. What I also found is that I find myself not thinking about saying I love you until the person has already passed me by. But I’m finding that as I do, the people respond much more positively even though we never exchanged words. Hmmm, interesting. There may be something to this.
I will tell you, It’s still a lot of effort but I am starting to find my groove in terms of what times work best for me to complete all the activities.
As a side note, I may have to read the essay again. Man, that was some heavy reading. It’s like each sentence could be pondered for some time.
masterkeymark 
Hahaha, funny thought:-) About feeling love for another man.
I don’t know if this can help you in some way, but if you think of love for different things/people, for example Love for you children (if you have any?) could be a boy child, but you still love him, right? Love for your brother if you have one, but it is still a male figure….Love for you father or your cousin, if you have one….both are male:-)
Maybe love for a best friend, that is male:-) Or love for a pet, love for special food, special place, colour, music, weather…..Love for your spous, family, or just simply a book, home, car, clothers? Love can be for everything:-)
So don’t freak out when you say “I love you” to a guy or a girl you don’t know:-) It is Love in another way, it is all of us, we are Love!:-)
Enjoyed your blog!!
Love to you!
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I can tell that you are getting some clarity. Love always! Shine on!
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Hi Andrei,
I can definitely feel a shift. And if there are only two possibilities in which to view our life; love or fear I choose Love.
Thank you for the feedback.
Mark
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Mark, In loved reading about your dilemma. I love you Mark as a person, and a fellow MKMMA friend. Glad to be on this journey with you.
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I thought that your blog was funny about loving a man. Love doesn’t need to be sexual love but more like being friends or comrades. Don’t soldiers in combat have a sense of brotherhood to work as a team? I hope this helps you.
Marianne
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Hi Marianne,
It’s funny in that I can tell my brothers, and my Dad that I love each of them but telling a total stranger, especially as I am walking past them that I Love them is a bit awkward. I totally get it and see the amazing power in it from a spiritual aspect. Learning lots in this course.
Thank you for the comments,
Mark
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To read your blog post about your recsistance to say “I love you” to a man, made me laugh. We all have our special things to overcome. I had the same thoughts as Maria W so I have nothing more to add. Thank you for sharing.
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Mark, totally agree with you on the essay! And I’m still working on not expressing opinions. Actually that leaves more space for sending love! Yes, there is a method to this madness! Also, I love your header photo!
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Great post Mark. We are in the same path. You explained the experience with the right words.
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The essay is definitely one to ponder!
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