Week 5 has been interesting and a challenge at best. I’m starting to see how the blocks are starting to fit together with regards to the things we are ready and the task/service cards we are committed to completing. I’m finding it comes down to my word, and keeping my word. This weeks exercise from the mastermind was a challenge in that my mind seemed to roam more this week than in most weeks past. Trying to find that happy place from the past wasn’t the issue but I brought everything into focus my mind went wild. Trying to reel it back in and focus it was a bit of a challenge. I’m finding that writing down those items on my chore card need to be more realistic and if it’s something that can’t be completed in that week then I’m finding that I won’t be putting that on my card any further. It’s okay to only impress myself by completing the items I put on the card. Then today, reading scroll II was crazy in that every person I look at I should say (in my mind of course) I love you. Ok, for a guy to look at another guy and say I love you in my mind kind of freaks me out. But I’m beginning to understand there are only 2 possibilities; Love and Fear. I think it’s starting to make sense. So I’m walking through Home Depot today and a guy ( I think he worked there) is walking towards me, we make eye contact for like nano seconds and I smile and mentally say I love you which of course is tripping me out and the dude smiles and I’m thinking oh crap did I say that out loud. I didn’t but still it was weird. What I also found is that I find myself not thinking about saying I love you until the person has already passed me by. But I’m finding that as I do, the people respond much more positively even though we never exchanged words. Hmmm, interesting. There may be something to this.
I will tell you, It’s still a lot of effort but I am starting to find my groove in terms of what times work best for me to complete all the activities.
As a side note, I may have to read the essay again. Man, that was some heavy reading. It’s like each sentence could be pondered for some time.